There are many reasons I stay silent when it comes to certain situations.
(2) The amount of times a person messes up equates to a show of pure unadulterated comedy. #BetterThanRealityTV
(3) I’ve come to the point where you aren’t a person I fuck with (yeah, dropping the f bomb … yet it’s appropriate in this regard) and my silence should let you know my position. #Unfavorable
I’ve never been a female to censor my thoughts nor hold my tongue, yet in this writing game, one has to decide when to get out the blade to battle and when to hold back for an opportunity more strategic.
When the time some of this action was first unfolding, it was part of my whole Keys to the Asylum showcase. Out of respect for keeping the spotlight on the authors whose works I was featuring, I decided not to spit on this brewing.
But look, May is gone.
For comedic and easy to follow purposes,we will just call this person Annoying Blowhard, or AB for short.
At first, AB was considered steady support for some outside projects in regards to the organization I’m a part of. No, I didn’t really know him extensively. In fact, he never talked to me at all, just to the key players of the spot. I get it. You fraternize with the people who can potentially do something for you in return. It’s the way business works.
So, AB, at that time was under Category #1.
Along the way, a few things Mr. Blowhard was doing became questionable, and to a few other people who dealt more extensively with this individual in the organization, outright disrespectful. It went from not touching AB with a one hundred foot pole to going ghost on AB altogether.
One particular episode had to do with me and people were placing bets on what my next move would be. The reflex in me wanted to say something but my regard for Mr. B. is so low on the totem pole of people who mean things in my life that I just re-categorized AB into Category #2.
Think Katt Williams giving the look prior to saying, “Look at this crazy so-and-so”, along with the whole pointing and laughing. It became more laughable by each day because AB really had no idea what he did and would go on these passive aggressive, emotionally somewhat tipsy toppling onto outright drunk tirades via social media.
I’m like this: If someone I used to be tighter than two ass cheeks with no longer talked to me, I would reach out to said person and find out the why. (That’s for a person who was a true friend, not any with associate or network titles.)
I wouldn’t be wining in the public, making my professional image mimic stupidity.
So for a few weeks, I sat back, observing AB digging himself deeper and deeper into ditches, becoming that person to garner whispers and uncomfortable silence as horror story after horror story got relayed down the pike about the obtuseness, douchebaggery, and stubbornness of his behavior. However, because the stench of his dung didn’t plop directly on my doorstep, I didn’t get caught up in the gossip.
Once AB had officially released his work, he wanted to celebrate his triumph with others. I had a very busy schedule so I wouldn’t be able to participate. Also the majority of the people I networked with had a bad taste in their mouths dealing with AB. I turned down the invitation to attend yet the effort for AB to connect with me began to increase.
I found the timing of all of this suspect. He didn’t even dream of messing with me before, but since AB and his “best friend” fell out, he started wanting to get chummy with me. #Nope
I’m no rebound fish or I will settle for trying to be friends with you because I can’t win back my bestie fish. There’s nothing oil slick about the rouse AB was trying to keep up yet just because I didn’t say anything didn’t mean that I was dumber than a box of rocks. AB got me mixed up worse than the spelling of “their” and “there”.
With that being said, once what AB was demonstrating to others started stinking up my Welcome Mat, I pulled that Mat, tossed it in the dumpster, and moved that thirsty troll to Category 2.5. No, I didn’t outline, but it means I’m damn near done; all I need is a fork.
Although I’m not on the Book or the Reads religiously like some people, I do respond back if it is something I’m interested in or if it is someone I really want to talk to. On that I operate quicker than the swish of a blade.
If a person keeps asking me to do something multiple times and my response is silence multiple times, that pretty much says, “I don’t want to do it.”
AB isn’t that stealth. From getting put in group conversations (#LackOfEtiquette #NotCoolWithThat #AskPermission) to really being blind to the statement that non-engagement is that #Nope moment, it is very clear this person is no longer Favorable or Visual Comedy.
AB is like that gross infected pimple in the center of the forehead that needs to get popped and made to go away.
Dealing with impossible people in this industry is unavoidable but once a person finds out how a person is, then you have a duty to control the level of interaction. Not just for your own peace of mind but for the sanctity of your brand.
If you are that person that acts kind of like AB (which appears something like this)
- You are so blinded by your own self perceived greatness that you are unwilling to take any criticism from anyone, even people who have been writing and publishing way longer than you.
- You don’t really want feedback, you want a slew of people to gush about how cutting edge and talented you are.
- You lack any type of personal or professional decorum when it comes to dealing with an audience.
- You don’t think that your personal behavior ties in to how others see you professionally.
- You disrespect members of the writing community you specifically called on for help and don’t even recognize the level of piss you’ve showered on your networking endeavors nor do you try to repair the damage by apologizing.
- Screenshots taken from various people have proven that your rating system is not honest but lean strongly towards favoritism or whose ass you have to French kiss to get to the next level. (If that’s how you roll, cool, but don’t pretend it’s something it isn’t.)
- You can’t recognize when to stop. If a person has not contacted you back after numerous reach outs, just take it as a no. Excessively going to the well can not only be called spamming and also harassment.
If any of you out there are like this frowsy individual, you will always be Category C, not just to me but to anyone out there in the industry. People always talk about this is the World Wide Web but you will be amazed at small the “World” can be.
In my World, I’m choosy about my inhabitants. Whether you are an author or not, you should be too.
It is always amazing how people want to make allowances for others, blinding by emotion or even green, when if all of that was stripped away, every cell in that person’s DNA is pollution.
I want no pollution to mar my green landscape. If it means I have few to none in any categories of interaction, I’m cool with that.
I always have been.
If this post is really screaming at you or you feeling some type of heat, I’ll leave you with some more words from Katt Williams:
“Make a pimp decision.”